The big accomplishment for today was a smile. A real one where his eyes sparkled and he looked up at our faces as if to tell us, "hey I know who you are, not just the cow and the one who changes my poop, and I appreciate it!" It happened around 2am while Mike and I were exhausted and I was up yet again feeding a hungry baby. But that toothless grin made me forget about precious sleep and take in the moment. At a month, Milo is also starting to be more alert and making some new sounds. The smile was definitely the biggest perk and today he's given us a few more of these rewards.
You don't appreciate a full nights of sleep until you start to miss it. On the good nights we're up twice, but mostly it's a blur of ever few hours, attack of the voracious baby. The co-sleeper that attaches to our bed is also of no interest to Milo (if we're lucky he'll sleep in it for a couple hours) so he ends up laying between us or nestled next to me. I don't mind this so much except he maneuvers his way over to me and I basically can't move, resulting in shoulder and back aches.
He still sleeps through much of the day with periods of looking around with wide eyes and open mouth. The nice part of this is we can take him out especially in the morning and lunchtime and he'll generally sleep while we eat (though dinner time seems to be an eating frenzy of every hour or so). I know this stage is temporary, but I'm not one of these people that romanticizes it. It's damn hard. A different kind of difficult than the preschool stage. Despite the overwhelming exhaustion, I appreciate this small baby time more so than I did with Collin. We sort of know what we're doing this time. Breastfeeding is much easier. I have more time off and don't have to stress about work and Mike is home longer which makes everything much smoother. The days Collin is in preschool, I lounge around, take naps and go on walks. The non-preschool days are definitely challenging, as of course Collin demands and needs attention and naps aren't easy to come by.
Milo seems slightly more low-key than Collin but not any less needy. He's a huge snuggler which is sweet but can also get old when you want to shower or go to the bathroom. At first he seemed to like the swing but now he screams whenever he's in it. $150 wasted. He does like his floor mat and is starting to reach out at the toys that dangle. Watching big brother build things is also fascinating. The Ergo carrier is my savior and I've managed to do some light cleaning, cook and even eat with it on. I know it'll get easier when Milo sleeps more during the night and can start entertaining himself more. For now, I'm trying to enjoy all the hugs and kisses with a tiny person and know that it's most likely the last time I'll have a baby this small (of my own) to hold.
