Can I marry you Mama?

I love how sweet and innocent Collin is at four. How he looks at my wedding dress hanging in the closet and says, "Will you marry me mama? And wear your dress because I love you."

It hasn't been an easy run with Collin. He's always been our "spirited" child. Full of never ending energy, high powdered screaming pitches if he doesn't get his way, hitting, spitting, running off. And then with Milo and all the other changes in our lives things were just getting worse and I was beginning to lose my confidence at parenting. I wanted to throw out all my parenting books in the trash and scream at the top of my lungs or lock myself in the bathroom (while Collin pounded on the door).

But things are starting to look up. The last few weeks have been easier and I'm trying to shift my mindset and stay more zen like with him (aka not lose my cool, remind myself of what a great kid he is and focus on the good in the moment). We're also giving him more independence and trying not to tell him what to do so much. The hardest part is when he's aggressive with Milo and my mommy instinct kicks in or when he freaks out on us and starts hitting. Being silly and distracting him makes a difference. One day as I could feel myself getting really pissed at him, I suddenly changed from a typical stare down to attack of the tickles and giggling and Collin instantly flipped a switch. "Do it again mom. Be mean and then funny!"

 Mike's also been able to spend more time with him and bond which helps a lot. Collin definitely needs dad time. I'm trying to do more one-on-one special time with him as well. My little sous chef loves baking and cooking (he is especially proud of his egg cracking ability). He's learning to lose a little more gracefully at Candyland and likes to draw and write his name and other letters. It's also awesome to hear him speak or sing in French and teach me new phrases.

I know part of why I've always had a difficult time with Collin is because it can be like looking in a mirror. He's got my dramatic, tenacious and stubborn personality. Parenting forces you to confront things about yourself you may choose to ignore because you can see it projected on your children. I want to help him learn to channel and control his energy and emotions. We both can be fixated on things and while that can translate to success it can also translate to annoying the hell out of everybody. So we'll work on stuff together. I know I'm growing just as much as he is.

And while I know he's not going to say he wants to marry me ten years from now (I am sure he would be appalled at the very thought of every saying that), hopefully he'll still want to talk and hang out.

9 months

Nine months to grow a baby. And nine months on your own. And here you are.

Standing, cruising, tasting, laughing, babbling, clapping, exploring.

Milo is such a happy, easygoing baby. He gives huge smiles to anyone and is in a rush to catch up to Collin. It won't be a surprise if he's walking before a year. This is definitely a busy boy. I think I'll be dealing with two high energy kids but have a feeling Milo will be less dramatic than Collin. He is still a super eater but especially loves any kind of fruit and bread.

He doesn't like to nap at daycare but hopefully that will change soon. At home it's usually 2 hours twice a day. So much stimulation happening with all the big babies around him!

He loves his giraffe blanket (his official lovely or doudou as they say in French). He claps and bounces to music and everything goes in his mouth.

And he was not so much into the photos this time.