Do you find this amusing mom?

yes here it is...the obligatory baby costume wearing photo. You can tell he's quite thrilled. But he is one damn cute monster/dragon/whateveryouwanttocallit

Spot the Punkin'

Not sure what to think

Well as it turns out Collin may have something called auditory neuropathy. Essentially it means that he has nerve damage in his ear. When the brain processes information, it gets garbled and doesn't make sense (translates to a hearing loss, or hearing static to loud annoying noises). Check out this link to hear what it sounds like: (scroll down to 2. http://www.ucihs.uci.edu/hesp/Simulations/simulationsmain.htm)

So what does this all mean? Not sure yet. Apparently it's pretty uncommon and discovered in the 80's, the audiologist and the person from the hearing program weren't too familiar with it and rarely encountered it in one ear only; hopefully meeting with the ENT doctor will provide some insight.

It sounds like A). His hearing aid most likely doesn't help. If he doesn't actually have a "loss" in that ear, the hearing aid just amplifies the annoying noise. Today when he went in for a test, they blasted some sound that he shouldn't have been able to hear near the poor ear and he burst out screaming. As in the noise scared him, so he obviously heard it. This isn't a sure thing yet. Collin will continue to use it until we learn more. B). Sometimes this gets better over time. Sometimes worse. Because he's a baby he can't exactly tell us what's going on so it's not easy to asses. We're holding out hope for the getting better part of course and he'll continually be tested. C). He could have to live with this. In which case we'll learn if there's anything we can do to help. We'll have to be an advocate in classrooms, etc. Teach him to be extra cautious when crossing streets, etc. And he'll adapt.

I'm glad we discovered this early and have a whole team of people working with us. And truly thankful this is only in one ear. Collin has lots of supporters and love so he'll do just fine. And I know he won't know any different if his hearing remains the same. Still when I plug up one ear to comprehend what he must hear, I can't help but to feel a little sad on what he's missing.

Rx for our current economic climate

This is for you mom. Deep cleansing breath.

I know I know it's only temporary relief but Collin had a vibe of extra cuteness I had to capture in his rocking onesie, pirate leggings and sneaker socks.

Happy Half-Birthday Collin!

Flashback: Mike and I look at each other with fear as we say goodbye to the nurses and walk to our car. There must be some mistake. We're not ready for this yet! Collin is a tiny bundle in my arms, he wears an outfit that hangs off of him. Rosy cheeks and a full head of hair.

The first month was pure exhaustion. I was convinced I would never have another child. Breastfeeding might as well have been climbing Mt Everest. (But it's natural, how hard can it be? Ha!) Collin slept, then woke, then ate, then slept, then pooped, then slept, then ate, then pooped. I was trying to wean myself off of pain meds from the C-section. Friends and relatives came by and aahed and oohed. Everything was a blur. I was eager to be done with the newborn phase.

Then something happened. We started to get the hang of this parenting thing. Nursing wasn't torture anymore. Collin smiled. He was alert. Patterns began to form. Like time lapsed photography the bundle grew and grew before our eyes. He squirmed. He flipped. He laughed.

And half a year is gone. I get teary eyed when I think about how he used to lay in the crook of my arm. But then I look at the little person he's becoming, and there's a burst of excitement. I get to see the possibilities.

I'm trying to take it in as slow as possible because one day I'll wake up and the chubby cheeks and toothless smiles will be a memory.

Here are the comparison shots:
1 day:

Family Photos

Well we did the family photo thing (I'm not much of a portrait person) but I'm really happy with how they turned out. They were taken at Washington Park by a professional and you can see the start of the Fall with bits of color. They're copy written so I can't post them but click here if you're interested in viewing and you can also order prints if you so desire (I'm sure I'll be sending some with Xmas cards!)

http://www.movingpicturesclients.com/ (click on our picture)
Login: alyssa.hanada@gmail.com
Password: hike

Mommy needs a valium

Yesterday was Collin's sedated hearing test at the hospital. Poor guy has been prodded before to evaluate his hearing but the Ear Nose and Throat doc wanted him to have a second opinion. At the prior tests, I nursed him and he slept while the audiologist stuck the probes to his forehead and put things in his ears to measure the brain's response to hearing...don't ask me to get too technical. But this time, since he's almost 6 months old and not asleep 80% of the day anymore, he had to be sedated. Meaning general anesthetic. Meaning nerve racking.

I know they do these things all the time at the Children's Hospital. They're completely competent. Still the thought of Collin being forced to sleep made me slightly anxious (okay or maybe I was pouring through all the worse case scenarios). I guess it doesn't help that my experience with being put under is waking up in a foggy drug-induced haze. Of course we're talking completely different experiences. Collin wasn't being cut open; except for the IV stuck in his foot, he wouldn't have felt any pain.

He couldn't have any solid food or formula 6 hours prior to the test. Thankfully breast milk was okay up to four hours before. Keep in mind the test is at 1230. Collin is a good eater. By the time we got to the hospital he was trying to put everything in his mouth including the thermometer. The anesthesiologist went over questions and assured us Collin would wake up fussy but be just fine. I handed my baby over and they laid him down on the table where at this point he was just pissed that he wasn't getting his food and who the hell were all these people manhandling him? A mask was put over his face to breath in the sleepy meds and I watched his little legs twitch. That was the hardest part. He screamed for about 30 seconds then was out. We were whisked out of the room.

Three and a half long hours later the test was done and Collin was still asleep. The audiologist confirmed what we already knew (hearing loss in the left ear considered severe). She did say there's a possibility of a surgical implant that conducts hearing to the bad ear through the bone. Or something. It's called a BAHA and from the photos online, it looks like a small metal bolt drilled by the ear. A little Frankensteinish. And oh yeah...drilling something into his head! They might as well knock me out with him. It also has a price tag of about 30 thousand dollars. Our insurance company doesn't cover hearing aids so would they cover the cost of that? We don't even know if he'd be eligible and need to obviously discuss it with the ENT doctor to get full details. Luckily the guy is supposed to be the best in the area with admiring nods from our pediatrician and all the hearing people. So I feel good about Collin being under his care.

When Collin woke up from the surgery he was pink faced and mad. He sucked down 4 oz of sugar water but he knew that was the not same as nice warm milk. When we got home, he was a little fussy the rest of the day but happily ate until he was stuffed and slept a full 9 hours that night.